haycokfirecom: http://www.haycockfire.com/fdny/fdny_ladder3.htm Feeling the emptiness at Ladder Company 3 By Donna Leinwand USA TODAY NEW YORK -- Fire Capt. Patrick Brown and much of his Ladder Company 3 went up the stairs at 1 World Trade Center just as others were trying to come down. Somewhere around the 35th floor, they radioed a report of 30-40 severely burned people. A few minutes later, they shouted ''Mayday!'' And the tower collapsed. That was the last anyone heard from 12 men of Ladder Company 3 and Battalion 6. The city fire department is missing 343 firefighters after the terrorist attack. Funerals for six firefighters were held Wednesday. Company 3 is one of the hardest hit, losing nearly half of its 25 firefighters. The world of a New York City firefighter is a small one. Everyone knows everyone else. Many are literally family. They hang out together and frequent the same bars. Sometimes they live in the same neighborhoods. Every other day, they live together in the firehouse -- 24 hours on, 24 hours off. And so the firehouse -- their home -- on 13th Street at the edge of the East Village, feels achingly empty now. ''It's a family, it's a brotherhood and a sisterhood,'' says Michael Dewan, a firefighter from Peabody, Mass., whose uncle, Gerard Dewan, is among Company 3's missing. The Dewan family has nine firefighters among four generations. Jerry Dewan always wanted to be a firefighter. ''He'd be proud that he died doing what he wanted to do,'' Michael Dewan says. If a firefighter had died under any other circumstance, the company would have two weeks off to mourn. Now resources are stretched thin. The firehouse reopened Sunday night, as soon as the company was able to replace the truck buried in the Trade Center rubble. Already, the remaining crew is covering the vacant shifts and going out on calls. ''Right now, we need to just stick together and somehow find a way to come out of this better,'' Lt. Steve Browne says. His brother, Capt. Danny Browne, also works at the station. Steve Browne says he half hopes they'll get a call out. ''I want to get that first one out of the way,'' he says. ''It's tough to get back out there,'' firefighter Chris Tighe says. ''But you feel that the guys that are missing wouldn't want you to quit.'' The firehouse is legendary, certainly in the neighborhood if not in the entire city. Everyone knows Patrick ''Patty'' Brown, among the most decorated of the city's firefighters. ''Before I even met him, I learned the legend of Patty Brown. I thought it was too good to be true,'' says Steve Browne, who is not related. ''Then I met him and I found out it's all true. You'd have to meet him. I could take up the whole newspaper telling you about Patty Brown.'' Patrick Brown's yoga instructor stopped by the station Wednesday with a big bouquet of flowers and red eyes. ''He was a very enlightened being,'' Faith Fennessey says, as she stands before his photo. Then there's Jeff Giordano, selected as New York City's hero of the month by a local newspaper last October after he and Patty Brown rescued a woman from a burning building. Giordano and his wife, a nurse, raised funds tirelessly for the city's burn center. ''The guy was relentless,'' Steve Browne says. ''He's always running around doing something for the job.'' Firefighter Tim McSweeney was the guy who organized all the company activities -- the go-to guy on the company picnic or the holiday party.'' He was a rock here,'' Steve Browne says. Firefighter Steve Olson had every right to be mad at the world. He lost his parents and brothers at a young age. Instead, he was the guy with the ready smile, Steve Browne says. Lt. Kevin Donnelly knew the job inside out and lived by a code of honor that seemed a throwback to a more genteel time. ''He was a medal winner, but you would never know it because he wouldn't boast about it,'' Capt. Danny Browne says. Joseph ''Jay'' Ogren just got married and had recently finished his probationary period. James ''Jimmy'' Coyle, 26, an emergency medical technician, had been the valedictorian of his class. ''He became like our little brother,'' Steve Browne says. Firefighter Joseph Maloney kept the mood light at the house. Battalion Chief John Williamson recently transferred to the station. ''We were just getting to know him. We feel like we were ripped off,'' Steve Browne says. John McAvoy knew every nook and cranny of the neighborhood. He constantly revised the maps and gathered information on changes in every building. He'd been on the job more than 20 years. ''I never met anyone who was more thorough,'' Steve Browne says. ''He was always concerned about living up to the tradition. He was our conscience.'' Mike Carroll was a natural leader who always took the younger guys under his wing, Steve Browne says. ''I can't do these guys justice.'' Neighbors stop by to hug and thank the men. The neighborhood children have covered the firehouse walls and all the nearby buildings with thank you notes. Flowers, candles and rosary beads fill the sidewalk. Deborah Berg-McCarthy, who lives nearby, says, ''We are just wanting to make it more beautiful so hopefully when the firefighters come back, they can find some peace.'' Children from a neighborhood day-care program visit the fire station twice a year. They wear the helmets, climb on the truck and learn when to dial 911. ''Mommy, where's all the firemen?'' asks Roseaner Grant, 5. ''They're sick right now,'' answers Jordette Brandow, who helped arrange the flowers. ''They don't feel like coming out to see people.'' The fire company has established a fund for the families of the firefighters. Donations can be sent to the Ladder 3 Assistance Fund, 108 E. 13th St., New York, NY 10003.