Joseph
Farrelly, 47, firefighting was this captain's dream job - He had
a brave face and a soft heart - Date of Death 9/11/2001 By David
Andreatta Advance staff writer Tuesday, 10/09/2001
He
had a penchant for historical biographies, an affinity for Bruce
Springsteen and a weakness for romance. He loved his wife and
children and his job with the New York City Fire Department. In
retrospect, some might call it prophetic that Capt. Joseph D.
Farrelly would leave a note on his wife's pillow professing his
love to her the night before he went missing in the World Trade
Center catastrophe -- as if it foreshadowed the impending disaster
he would confront. But for the 47-year-old firefighter with a
brave face and a soft heart, writing love letters to his wife
was as natural as waking up in the morning and fixing her lunch.
She would often find a note waiting for her on the dashboard of
her car, by the bathroom sink or under a magnet on the refrigerator.
"I can't begin to tell you how much I love you. Words are inadequate,"
he wrote before embarking on a 24-hour shift. "Already I can't
wait to get home. Hope you had a good time today. Love you. Joe."
After scribbling that short message on Sept. 10, Mr. Farrelly
left his Prince's Bay home for Engine Co. 4 at the South Street
Seaport firehouse in Manhattan. His wife hasn't seen him since,
and now her husband's last missive waits to be framed. "He used
to leave me notes all the time," said his wife, the former Stacey
Goldberg. "He was extremely romantic." Secret plans for weekend
getaways in New England were plotted between shifts at the firehouse,
and he never skimped on quality -- a dozen roses was his trademark
gesture of devotion to his wife, just for being her. Born in Newark,
N.J., Mr. Farrelly grew up in nearby Old Bridge, N.J., and showed
an interest in firefighting early in his life. There was something
about the camaraderie among the firefighters, the changing nature
of the job and the chance to make a difference that beckoned him.
When he was hospitalized with smoke inhalation after a terrorist's
bomb exploded at the World Trade Center in 1993, Mr. Farrelly
accepted it as part of the job. "He always wanted to be a fireman,
and always wanted to be a New York City fireman. That was like
the ultimate for him," Mrs. Farrelly said. He got his chance in
1973 -- at the ripe old age of 19 -- when he was hired by the
New Brunswick Fire Department. At the time, Mr. Farrelly was the
youngest person ever hired in the department. He was also one
of the first to go when cutbacks forced the department to downsize
a few years later. Mr. Farrelly supplemented his income in those
days by repairing Volkswagens on the side. He honed his skills
as a firefighter by joining the South Old Bridge Volunteer Fire
Company. In November 1978, his dream was realized when he was
called to the New York City Fire Department. He was married the
following year and moved to Huguenot. The couple settled in Prince's
Bay two years later. Before he went missing, Mr. Farrelly had
been planning his 25th wedding anniversary, to be celebrated in
Ireland. He took pride in his knowledge of fire prevention and
shared it with children on the South Shore. He was known as "Fireman
Joe" to students at PS 3, where he taught children "not to be
a afraid of the men in the masks." Mr. Farrelly loved children.
He never took a second job, unlike many firefighters, because
he relished the time he could spend with his sons and daughter.
In most of the photos in the Farrelly family album, he is surrounded
by children. A doting father, he volunteered as an assistant Boy
Scout leader when his sons, Ryan, 19, and Devin, 18, were small,
and enjoyed watching his 11-year-old daughter, Juliann, come of
age. He was active in the PS 3 and Totten Intermediate School
PTAs, forever hanging decorations from the classroom ceilings.
For years, he and his wife sheltered infant foster children, many
of whom were neglected. They only stayed with the Farrellys until
a suitable home was found, and it is unlikely any of them will
ever remember Mr. Farrelly cradling them in his arms. But he was
touched by each of them. "When they'd cry at night, he'd get up
and feed them," Mrs. Farrelly said. "Sometimes I could hear him
talking to them, saying 'Don't worry, things will be OK. You're
going to have a good life.' " His neighbor and friend, Vanka Gialella,
remembers how Mr. Farrelly and his sons saved her vacation when
her street flooded and the water was rising in her basement. She
was scheduled to go to Norway the next day, but the chances of
her leaving appeared increasingly slim. "Then I hear this sloshing
sound coming down the street," she recalled. "It was Joe and his
boys, wading down the street carrying buckets and mops." The men
formed an assembly line and emptied the basement of water, a bucket
at a time. "He was a very generous man. He did a lot of things
for a lot of people," Mrs. Gialella said. "Where did he come from?"
Mr. Farrelly loved watching "Jeopardy" and "The Honeymooners,"
and spent many hours walking along the beach with his black Labrador,
Clancy. He was an avid reader, and digested the New York Times
from cover to cover every day. Before the Sept. 11 attacks on
the World Trade Center, he was in the middle of a biography on
President Andrew Jackson. Surviving in addition to his wife, Stacey;
his two sons, Ryan and Devin, and his daughter, Juliann, are his
parents, Joseph and Theresa, and his three brothers, Dennis, Patrick
and Michael. There will be a memorial service Monday at noon in
the Music Hall at Snug Harbor Cultural Center, Livingston.
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