Firefighter Gerald Atwood

By Vera Haller
Newsday.com

March 8, 2002

Barbara Atwood, the widow of fallen firefighter Gerald Atwood, said she was caught off guard when she realized the six-month anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks was approaching.

She said she hadn’t been thinking in terms of months, but rather had been counting the days since her husband -- the father of her nearly three-year-old son and 20-month old daughter -- had not come home on Sept. 11.

Pregnant with their third child and close to her due date, Atwood said the reality of her husband’s death had started to sink in.

“For some reason, in the past couple of days, it actually has hit me more. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s the six-month anniversary or because I’m due in two weeks and I can’t believe he’s not going to be here,” she said in a phone interview from her home in Brooklyn.

“I guess you always hope that there’s some outrageous miracle or mistake or something ... and I’m going to get a phone call that, ‘You’re not going to believe this but, ...” she said, her voice trailing off.

The six-month anniversary was marked on Monday with the installation of two temporary memorials to the nearly 2,900 victims. One incorporates a damaged sculpture from the Trade Center site and the other is a tribute of light -- two powerful beams rising from Lower Manhattan to the sky.

Both memorials were unveiled at separate ceremonies, giving New Yorkers the opportunity to reflect and remember.

For Atwood and others who lost loved ones, their pain is felt every day and has not abated.

Patricia Tate, the sister of victim Carol Rabalais, said her family is still in denial that she is gone.

“She just disappeared like that, no body, no nothing to say good-bye to,” said Tate, who lives in the Bronx.

Rabalais -- who was raising three children aged 20, 14 and 11 on her own -- was a secretary at AON, an insurance company on the 98th floor of Tower Two. “Her children believe their mom will be coming home. They just believe she’s somewhere and can’t find her way home,” Tate said.

Laura Miuccio, of Staten Island, whose father Richard Miuccio was killed in the attacks, has slowly picked up her life, only recently returning to her job as an administrative assistant in Manhattan.

She said on her first day back, she was hit by memories of her father. She said she used to take the express bus to work and he, the Staten Island ferry. Sometimes, as he walked to the landing, her bus would pass him and they would wave at each other.

“So now I just look for him, kind of, when the bus passes by the place he would have been walking,” she said. “Everyday, every little thing reminds me of him.”

There are so many voids left in so many families.

“We are even to this day in disbelief that James is not here,” said Michele Cartier, sister of victim James Cartier, an apprentice carpenter who was working in Tower Two on Sept. 11.

James was one of seven children in a close-knit family from Jackson Heights, Queens.

“My mom says making dinner at night is very hard for her because she knows James’ favorite plate and what he always liked to eat,” Michele said. “There are days when the doorbell rings and for a split second you forget what happened and you think James is going to walk through the door.

Back to Gerard's Home Page